Conversation as a Correction Tool

Once you have established consistent obedience in your home, often the only tool you need is a conversation, especially for older children who have humble hearts and a desire to do what’s right.

In that case, when a misbehavior happens, you can simply sit down with the child and ask him the same questions you would ask yourself when choosing a consequence:

  • What was the root of the misbehavior? (i.e. laziness, pride, selfishness, anger, rebellion, sensory issue)
  • How is this behavior wrong?
  • What would happen if an adult behaved this way?
  • What other negative outcomes could this behavior produce? (someone could have been hurt; an item could have been lost, stolen or broken, child could be alienated from others)
  • Were you somehow set up for failure? (tired, hungry, overstimulated, pushed to incompetence)
  • Do you think you need a motivator to overcome this?
  • Do you think you’re missing a tool that could help you be more successful?

Sometimes, you don’t even need that much discussion. The three question correction is enough for them to understand what went wrong and how they can do it differently next time. If they’re truly repentant and armed with the tools to make a better choice in the future, you might not need anything else.

That wraps up our series on Filling the Training Toolbox. If you have any questions or comments or ideas for us, please leave a comment, contact us through the website, or send us a Facebook message.

Jenni and Jody

Jenni and Jody

Jenni and Jody are Christian, homeschooling moms with ten kids between them (ages 1 to 30), including one on the autism spectrum, plus one baby grandchild. Together they host a weekly syndicated parenting radio show, write a weekly newspaper column, freelance for a variety of publications, teach parenting and homeschooling workshops and seminars, speak at conventions and conferences and coach individual families. They are passionate about encouraging and equipping families to Parent On Purpose (POP) with the end result in mind.

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Jenni and Jody are Christian, homeschooling moms with ten kids between them (ages 1 to 30), including one on the autism spectrum, plus one baby grandchild. Together they host a weekly syndicated parenting radio show, write a weekly newspaper column, freelance for a variety of publications, teach parenting and homeschooling workshops and seminars, speak at conventions and conferences and coach individual families. They are passionate about encouraging and equipping families to Parent On Purpose (POP) with the end result in mind.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

One thought on “Conversation as a Correction Tool

  1. Kids need parents to be present. They want to know that there is someone who cares and being present shows you are invested. I’m a big believer of guiding kids to the activities that will lift their spirits and awaken their creativity. The first step is to present them with all types of healthy activities such as singing, dancing, playing an instrument, drawing, art lessons, and team sports. Anything the parent loves is not always appropriate but should be considered such as surfing or karate. The next step is to spend time with them doing projects. It is one thing to give them the tools but another to invest your time with them. Kids are literal and live in the moment. They process differently than adults so let them lead too.
    I have written a children’s book series that help kids to ‘power up’, find their passion and self esteem. Although they are adventure stories they have positive guidance quotes on each illustrated page. Go to my site and listen to the stories with original music for free @ thebobetteartco.com.

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